I'M NOT YOUR SHRINK
Season 3 Episode 1
I am so excited to be returning for another season of I’m Not Your Shrink! I want to start by saying THANK YOU! Thank you for joining me here and being part of this community! I am so thrilled to launch this season with New York Time’s best-selling author, Eve Rodsky. We previously sat together to talk about her first book, Fair Play, [….]
Season 3 Episode 2
Did you know that 1 in 4 couples sleep in separate beds?1 Despite this common experience, many people continue to feel a lot of stigma around speaking out about their need for a restful night’s sleep – which may mean sleeping in a different room from your lover. People tend to learn that there must be something wrong with a relationship if a couple is sleeping in separate beds. […]
Season 3 Episode 3
In this week’s podcast, I answer your question.
Q. Dear Dr. Tracy. Every time I try to share something with my partner, he goes and makes it about himself. Recently, I was trying to share about an issue with my sister. He got so heated and upset – we’ve had frequent conflict about my sister […]
Season 3 Episode 4
For the parent who just wants their child to be happy.
When I told my daughter that I just needed five minutes before I could rub her back at bedtime, she screamed at me. And what I did next was not my best moment. I could feel it coming over me. I screamed back at her. I know so many parents get to this point – the exhaustion and overwhelm. The Demands. Being pulled in so many directions.[….]
Season 3 Episode 5
We’re getting ready for another holiday season. With Passover, Good Friday, Easter, Eastern Orthodox Easter, and Ramadan coming up, it seemed like a great time to ask you, my community, some important questions about family get togethers and talk about how you want to show up.
When it comes to family gatherings, 46% of you feel “okay negative” about them.
Season 3 Episode 6
One of the most common complaints I receive is, “We never talk about the hard stuff.”
What’s the barrier to turning towards each other and talking?
For many, it’s time.
For others, it’s not wanting to upset the other person.
Season 3 Episode 7
Does your partner share everything with their parents?
This episode dives into this topic after receiving a question from one of our community members.
Season 3 Episode 8
A client once told me through tears that she hadn’t been honouring her, and she pointed to her body.
I could see reflected in her face the experiences of so many women – including me.
It wasn’t just a week of not listening to her body. It was years. Possibly her whole lifetime.
Season 3 Episode 9
You finally have a minute to pause and relax. As you hold your cup of coffee, just heated up for the fourth time, and look around your house, you feel overwhelmed.
How can you relax when the mess keeps triggering you?
Season 3 Episode 10
Growing up we learn so much from our mothers and growing up the messaging we receive is “obey thy mother.”
The things we learned from our mothers growing up and the way they coped in the world show up in us, throughout our lives….
Season 3 Episode 11
One of the most common concerns I hear is, “My partner is struggling with their mental health, what do I do?”
Dr. Kojo joins me on the podcast to discuss how mental health can show up in relationships.
Dr. Kojo Sarfo, DNP, PMHNP-BC is a social media content creator…
Season 3 Episode 12
Do you find yourself asking…
How do we feel close again after we just had a disagreement?
My partner doesn’t like to come back and talk about the hard stuff.
My partner doesn’t apologize. I always have to bring up the hard conversations.
Season 2 Episode 1
There is so much happening in the world today. The events taking place are outside of our control, from COVID19 to the Black Lives Matter Movement. So that is why today’s podcast brings together my favourite colleagues from across North America to share their top way of coping with the challenges so many of us […]
Season 2 Episode 2
Picture your life as a garden. Everything you can pour your energy into, everything that is important to you is a different plant. You have a plant for each relationship (your children, your partner, your extended family), you have a plant for career, for your friendships, for your self-care, etc. Close your eyes for a […]
Season 2 Episode 3
Can you relate to losing a friend? Maybe you grew apart and lost touch with each other. Maybe you had a big disagreement and decided to end the relationship. Or perhaps you were ghosted. Many of us can relate to the feeling of losing a friend. Which is why Dr. Miriam Kirmayer tells us that […]
Season 2 Episode 4
Can you relate to this feeling?
Overwhelmed with the number of things you need to get done. From cleaning the house, homeschooling your kids, organizing meals, working, maintaining friendships, and connecting with your partner – the list goes on.
Season 2 Episode 5
If you have experienced burnout, or think you might be experiencing it, you are not alone. In this episode, I speak with Mallory Rowan, coach and speaker, and a recovered woman from burnout, about moving towards living your life and business in alignment with what matters most to you
Season 2 Episode 6
How many times have you said, “I’m doing SO much. My partner just doesn’t see it.”
Let me raise my hand.
I want to say this. I hear you! And this is called the mental load.
We know that women and mothers carry a higher mental load than their partners. […]
Season 2 Episode 7
In June of this year, I was asked to speak at a conference on imposter syndrome for women in business. Being one of my goals for the year, I was super excited and quickly said yes.
Then, a feeling crept in.
This feeling of “who are you to speak in front of all those women?” and “do you really have anything to share that they already don’t know?”..
Season 2 Episode 8
We all have triggers. And they are not always the same things.
Building a relationship that brings an understanding of each other’s triggers, strengths and differences is complicated. When we bring compassion, understanding, kindness and accountability into our relationships, our love and connection blossoms.
Season 2 Episode 9
We all long to know that we matter to the ones we love. We have an innate need for emotional contact and security, and these attachment needs are healthy and adaptive.
But at times, we question if we are important to our partners or if we matter.
When our attachment figures – our partners – are not reliably accessible and supportive, the ability to securely attach is undermined. Insecurity develops when…
Season 2 Episode 10
Take a moment and reflect on the year of 2020.
Did you get all of the projects completed that you wanted to? Make all of the moves you planned to? Start that new workout routine, begin to eat healthier, and find extra time in the day to be with your friends and family?
Let’s be honest, the answer is probably “no.”
And you are not alone in that.
In today’s episode we slow down and talk about the stress of 2020 and how, as a female, this affects your body. And we need to be aware of this! …
Season 2 Episode 11
Going to the store was simple before COVID-19.
2020 has changed that.
Now, there are so many more factors to consider. The mask. Which store. The time. The line up. The distance kept between you and the next person. And then, a line again.
Each daily task is a lot more in 2020.
This is just one of the daily difficulties that many are experiencing…
The weight of it all?
The uncertainty. The Stress. The burnout…
Season 2 Episode 12
So many women and mothers show up in my office struggling with high expectations and perfectionism.
Life is not perfect. You are not meant to be perfect. There will be mistakes. It is not possible to be the perfect caregiver, partner and individual.
And even more so?
It’s a trait that society places on us and says that it is socially acceptable.
And this pressure from society is not helpful.
Season 2 Episode 13
We have all heard it before, and maybe we have even said it.
“I’m sorry you feel that way.”
Initially, it doesn’t sound like a bad apology.
We are saying sorry, after all. Doesn’t that count?
We all know that feeling when someone apologizes but doesn’t really apologize. Or what about for ourselves, when we aren’t sure we have anything to apologize for.
Why is apologizing so hard..
Season 2 Episode 14
Have you ever had someone say to you “I’m sorry about your divorce?” or maybe you’ve said this to someone.
Is there really something to be sorry for?
“It was a choice I had to make and for other people, who don’t understand what it is to be in a bad marriage and how hard it is to get yourself out of it, all they feel for you is sadness.”
Sometimes marriages just don’t work. Toxic relationships can bring out the worst versions of ourselves.
Season 2 Episode 15
Have you ever thought to yourself “are we having enough sex?” or maybe you have fallen into a rut where you can recall step-by-step how each time will go because nothing ever changes.
Could anyone else be feeling this way too?
In many relationships we will find difficulties related to our sexuality, including mismatched sex drives, doubts, unspoken desires, and self-esteem issues blending into the bedroom.
Sex is something humans do, but for many women we’ve been socialized to hate our bodies, minimize our desires, and to not talk with our partners about sex…..
Season 2 Episode 16
“You’ll get pregnant again…”
“At least you have a healthy child…”
“At least you can get pregnant…”
It’s estimated that nearly 1 in 4 pregnancies results in a miscarriage. Yet somehow most of us are unaware of how many people we know that have experienced pregnancy loss until we experience one…
Season 2 Episode 17
“Don’t go to bed angry” is probably one of the most common well wishes provided to newly weds during toasts and in handwritten cards.
But what this misses is that if you are escalated and angry, the last thing you should do is continue to talk about the issue at hand. When both partners are flooded and overwhelmed, this is a recipe for additional hurt words that do not get unheard.
Season 2 Episode 18
Step moms seem to get a bad rap in movies – even cast in a poor light and labeled “Evil Stepmothers.”
In reality, stepmothers are human beings parachuted into co parenting arrangements they had no part in making.
It can feel like fitting a circle peg into a square-shaped hole. You might be told you aren’t a ‘real’ mother and in the same breath criticized for not being involved enough.
Season 2 Episode 19
Why is it that we treat men’s time as if it is as “precious as diamonds” and women’s time as if it is as “infinite as sand?” (As this week’s podcast guest stated it).
Chances are you never sat down with your partner, before moving in together, getting married, or having children, to discuss who does what. Who takes the trash out? Who buys the mustard? Who care for the children when they are home sick from school? Who coordinates their activities and schoolwork? If needed, who leaves their job to become a full-time parent?
But how have mothers become the default?
Season 2 Episode 20
Have you ever reached a point, through your motherhood journey, where you felt like something needed to change in order for you to be happy?
Perhaps you felt as though your needs were somehow lost in the mix while you were putting everyone else’s needs ahead of your own. Who looks out for mom when she’s taking care of everyone else?
But what if I told you the change you need in order to reach happiness comes from within?
Season 2 Episode 21
What happens when you sit two relationship experts down for a chat?
This episode is just that – two relationship experts, one conversation.
Everyone has their own attachment style, it’s the way we build and respond to relationships. When we understand our attachment styles we can better help our relationship maintain healthy boundaries.
Speaking of boundaries, have you ever sat down with your partner to discuss your boundaries within the relationship?
Season 2 Episode 22
This episode is quite a bit different than every other episode this season. I asked the community, via Instagram, to submit questions and I picked some to answer similar to a Dear Abby column.
As we close out Season 2 I want to thank this beautiful community – especially since we’ve hit the 100K download milestone! We truly would not be here without each of you listening and sharing it with those you love.
Season 1 Episode 1
Welcome to the first episode of I’m Not Your Shrink. I am honoured that you have chosen to tune into this podcast. In this episode, I discuss the two core themes I see in therapy every day. 1 – Am I enough? Good enough? Worthy? and 2 – Do I matter? Do I matter to […]
Season 1 Episode 2
Can you can relate to playing it safe and taking the familiar road? Maybe you do this because it is just simply familiar – or maybe it’s because you are struggling with fear – a primary emotion that we all experience. But it’s a tough one! In this episode, I talk about facing […]
Season 1 Episode 3
Boundaries. This word seems to get a bad rap, like somehow we shouldn’t talk about it. But I can tell you with certainty that with almost every client that I meet, or couple partners, we talk about boundaries in some way in the therapy process. Boundaries. It’s one word with a lot of impact on […]
Season 1 Episode 4
It never surprises me when we reach that moment in therapy and I ask, “how is your self-care?” Some clients pause and don’t know what self-care is. “Put myself first? I don’t know how to do that.” Is one response. Others say, “that’s just a millennial thing.” and laugh. Some clients say “look, Tracy, I […]
Season 1 Episode 5
This is the Instagram post that immediately drew me to want to meet Erica from Mom.Break. View this post on Instagram Postpartum depression and anxiety…the things that most moms don’t talk about…⠀ .⠀ Why?⠀ .⠀ – Maybe because they’re ashamed⠀ – Maybe because they THINK they should “have it all together”⠀ – Maybe because […]
Season 1 Episode 6
Defensiveness. It is the response to protect the self from a PERCEIVED ATTACK (at times, it might indeed be a criticism). It is quick. It is often automatic. But it doesn’t resolve our conflict, nor does it bring us closer to our friends, partners, or other key people in our life. This episode focuses on […]
Season 1 Episode 7
Before I gave birth, I couldn’t tell you about my pelvic floor – period. And I can definitely say that no one talked to me about my pelvic floor after the birth of my two children. Yet, as I learned when I sneezed and peed, this is a foundational piece to a woman’s health! For […]
Season 1 Episode 8
Money. Women don’t like to talk about it. And there are often so many emotional barriers to talking about and addressing issues related to money. Enter financial therapist and social worker, Lindsay Bryan-Podvin. Lindsay is a practicing financial therapist in Michigan. As the first financial therapist in Michigan, she combines financial literacy with the emotional and […]
Season 1 Episode 9
It was a normal Tuesday morning and we were on the way to work. My son would not stop whining. And I reached my limit. Well no. Let me rephrase. I was trying to regulate my internal storm of the morning, but I failed. See that right there? I am so quick to say I […]
Season 1 Episode 10
Your body – physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing – is like a car. You need to refuel it. You need to bring it in for an oil change. And you need to care for it – in all stages of life! And I KNOW motherhood and those early postpartum days are so so challenging. And […]
Season 1 Episode 11
I recently posted that your anxiety does not define you (see post here). I received so many comments about how relieving this message was! Anxiety. So many of us experience anxiety – an emotion that is normal and part of the human experience. Despite it being a normal emotion, many clients show up in the […]
Season 1 Episode 12
So here we are at Episode 12 – and its Season One Finale! All of the best shows have their finale around episode 12, right? We are heading into the summer! And I can feel the excitement and energy beginning to come alive. With our longer winters here in Ottawa, we thrive in these warmer […]