Wife arguing with husband

When your Partner Tells their Mom Everything…

Dr. John Gottman talks about becoming a united front as a couple, which means that you take your traditions, beliefs, and values from your family, and you “leave” your family behind to create a new family with your partner, where together you build (modify, reshape, etc.) your traditions and values together.

But what happens when one partner still seeks the support from their parents, over seeking that support with you?

I received this question:

“My partner tells his mother everything, and I don’t feel comfortable with this. My mother-in-law also has a way of putting me down. How do I approach this with my partner?”

SOME WAYS YOU MAY ADDRESS THIS WITH YOUR PARTNER:

  • Agree to be a united front
  • Identify boundaries that you wish to have with what you share with family members
  • Talk about what your partner needs in terms of support
  • Find ways to cope for yourself when your mother-in-law makes hurtful comments
  • Seek couples therapy or individual therapy to help with you cope with this

TWO OF MY GO-TO RESOURCES:

Stan Tatkin –Wired for Love

Henry Cloud & John Townsend – Boundaries

Now, it’s your turn!  Tell me below – have you struggled with boundaries with family?

Warmly,

P.S. Check out this post on Instagram about boundaries.

Remember, the information on this site is for information purposes only and does not substitute the care from a licensed mental healthcare provider.