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When Body Confidence Impacts Your Intimacy

African couple of lovers relaxing in bed at home

When Body Confidence Impacts Your Intimacy

Women are taught all kinds of messages about their bodies. These messages contribute to how we feel about ourselves.

How we feel and think about our body impacts our intimacy.

People often think that arousal happens between the legs. In fact, it happens between the ears – in our minds. Spending time in our mind thinking about our bodies, criticizing it, or worrying about how it will be perceived will impact the level of desire and arousal that shows up in our intimacy.

I received this question:

“My lack of confidence in certain parts of my body may be contributing to difficulties with sex with my partner. Can you talk about how body image ruins sexual intimacy? And practical ways to make peace with our bodies during sex?”


  • Tune into the images that you are consuming and the messages that you are telling yourself about your body
  • Create a statement of acceptance about your body
  • See your body as a whole, and what your body does for you (do this in the mirror)
  • Bring self-compassion to your body (e.g., I’m learning to accept this part; others struggle too)
  • Practice getting present outside of intimate moments.
  • During intimacy, practice the skill of getting present and focusing on bodily sensations


Emily Nagoski – Come As You Are

Lori Brotto – Better Sex Through Mindfulness: How Women Can Cultivate Desire

Now, it’s your turn!  I’d love to hear from you – what will you do to practice getting present in your body?


Dr. Tracy

P.S. Looking for more ways to help improve your intimacy?  Grab my webinar on improving your intimacy and learn how to connect with your partner in the comfort of your own home.

Remember, the information on this site is for information purposes only and does not substitute the care from a licensed mental healthcare provider.