A heterosexual couple embracing each other in a side hug. They're sitting on a bench facing away from the camera looking out into a mountanus scene with a lake in the valley.

Feeling Stuck: The Power of a United Front

Can you relate to feeling like your relationship is stuck? This is a common challenge I hear from many couples, often brought up with the simple statement “we are stuck.”

It can be disjointing and sometimes feel shameful to be stuck. Especially when the feeling lingers with no resolution and creeps further into our relationship.

I know this stuck feeling all too well, and so many others can relate. Sometimes in the day to do this stuck feeling can show up in our communication. Are we missing each other? But WHAT is missing? How do I get out of it?

Chances are you didn’t become stuck overnight, so getting out of this feeling won’t happen overnight change either. But don’t lose hope, you can move through this together. I’ve broken down a four part process to work through this stuck feeling.

Ready to start?

Step One: Be a United Front

What does being a united front mean?

It means that we are a team, that you and your partner are a “we” and not against each other. You are two different people and you can still nurture and support each other.

This does not mean you lose your individual identity, rather it means you understand that your identities are coupled to work together towards a common goal: the relationship.

Think of your united front as a seawall. Although the wall in itself is one front, it’s made up of individual pieces. These pieces work together to protect what’s behind the wall from the tide.

One of the most powerful things I have implemented in my relationship is this:

It’s not about being right or wrong. It’s seeing the other person’s experience and validating it (see my instagram post on emotional validation to learn more)

At our core it is only human to want to be validated and seen. This is especially important within intimate relationships. Something as simple as seeing your partner’s experience and validating it can create a powerful, positive shift.

Today, and every day, find a way to be on the same team. Here are some ideas:

  • Ask your partner their opinions and wishes – listen without interrupting and ask your partner what they need rather than telling them what to do (learn more about fixing on my instagram post)
  • When expressing boundaries to family members, talk about ‘our wishes’ and use ‘we’ instead of I/they
  • Keep your disagreements about parenting between the two of you. Support each other in the moment when possible so your children can see you as one team rather than two differing opinions
  • Celebrate your partner’s wins, whether it’s at work, that video game, or a tough parenting moment (even if you think you would have done it a different way)

Interested in learning more? Check out these companion blogs:

>> Feeling Stuck: Is Blame Keeping You Stuck?
>> Feeling Stuck: Who’s On Defense?