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Season 1 Episode 6: How to Respond to Defensiveness in your Relationship

Defensiveness. It is the response to protect the self from a PERCEIVED ATTACK (at times, it might indeed be a criticism).

It is quick.

It is often automatic.

But it doesn’t resolve our conflict, nor does it bring us closer to our friends, partners, or other key people in our life.

This episode focuses on answering a listener’s voicemail question – How to respond to their partner’s defensiveness!

The following is discussed:

  • What is defensiveness?
  • How to identify what defensiveness is in your relationship.
  • Find the “why” to the defensiveness. Warning – I ask you to look at you too!
  • Using the calm down method before returning to a discussion.
  • What is meta communication with specific examples you can use.
  • Understanding what is underneath the defensiveness
  • An alternative way to respond to your partner in the moment.
  • My last recommendation that if you are stuck, go seek the help of a licensed professional!

Want to read more about couples therapy? Check out my piece on about why you should go to couples therapy early.

Prefer to listen on iTunes? Just click here to access it now!

Next Episode

Pelvic Floor Health for All Women with Andrea Plitz

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