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Playful couple laying in two seperate hammocks in the pine forrest. The camera is at a low angle, looking up. The woman is in a green hammock reaching up to the man in the blue hammock who is looking down at her. They both look very happy and lots of playfulness towards each other..

Bringing Playfulness Back Into Your Relationship. Here’s Where to Start.

So many of you have identified with feeling like your partner is your roommate rather than your lover. Many of us have been in a bubble over the past year (and are probably tired of talking about it). This roommate feeling might be hitting hard now that the excitement of the holiday season is behind us.

Feeling like roommates can feel dull and empty. In the past, you might have experienced dull, empty feelings in other aspects of your life every now and then. However, with everything going on right now many of us are experiencing this feeling in multiple aspects of our life at once.

With so many things outside of our sphere of influence, it can be relieving to work on the things you are able to influence.

While working through this roommate feeling you may find yourself realizing the connection you are missing goes beyond rituals, time together, and physical connection. But what else could be missing?


Playfulness? Yes, being vulnerable enough with yourself (and your partner) lays a strong foundation that allows you to be playful with each other.

But what exactly does playfulness look like? The truth is – I can’t tell you what playfulness will look like for you. However, I can help you explore memories that might help you recall ways you were once playful with your partner.

Think back to earlier days in your relationship. Playfulness can be rooted in an enjoyable past memory or perhaps a way you used to interact with your partner.

Here are a few prompts to help find your playfulness:

  • Find something that you connected on in the past that still brings laughter and joy
  • Revisit enjoyable memories from the past together and give your partner an unfiltered look into what you were thinking or feeling
  • Recall a memory with a shared meaning, something lighthearted
  • Think back to a time you just new what your partner was thinking by looks alone, almost like you were so in synch you could read your partner’s mind
  • Put on a favourite song and dance together, even if you have two left feet
  • Complete a project together that neither of you are experts on, learn something new together
  • Engage in humour and banter, within a safe, healthy environment

So you’re ready to bring playfulness back into your relationship, remember to be patient and adapt to the situation. What might be playful to you could be interpreted different by your partner. Listen to their feedback and be sure to share yours too.

Remember that playfulness is all about having fun and it should feel natural. Although, it might feel a little awkward bringing it back into your relationship, you should be able to find a natural rhythm.